I know a man named Andrew who has a gift for teaching math.
One of Andrew’s students was a preteen (let’s call him Danny*) with a dark past:
When she was young, Danny’s mother Miriam married a man who had a nasty womanizing habit and an even nastier temper.
While he was dating her, Danny’s father acted like the perfect gentleman, treating her beautifully and even converting to Miriam’s religion to show that he was serious.
But after they married, his evil side came out.
He was unfaithful, abusive, and angry.
Danny’s mom stayed with her husband for years, because she didn’t want her children to not have a father.
But when he tried to make her abort their fourth baby, threatening violence if she didn’t, she ran.
Danny, the second son, was old enough to know what was going on, and the entire fiasco affected him deeply. He started to have emotional and behavioral issues and struggle in school.
Enter Andrew.
Andrew’s wife knew Danny’s mother, so through this connection, Danny came to study math with Andrew after school.
Andrew worked diligently with Danny on his math homework, and over time, Danny became less angry and unruly and more optimistic about his life.
In other words, Andrew was a huge influence in Danny’s life, FAR beyond math.
Because the truth is, Danny does need help with his math.
But more importantly, he needs a role model. A good man to show him that when he grows up, he does not have to be like his abusive father.
He needs, most of all, to be shown a different, BETTER way.
Just like there is a different, BETTER way to deal with the pains of your own past.
To Show or Be Shown a Different Way
If you’re like me, then despite the many blessings in your life, you also struggle at times with painful, dark events from the past.
And if you’re not careful, sometimes those past things can really wreak havoc on your life.
A lot of problems come from being mentally stuck, from not knowing that there is another way to see things, to act in the world, to live life.
For example, Danny could easily grow into an angry, abusive man, just like his dad.
But Andrew’s patient example gives him another role model to look up to. It allows Danny to see, viscerally, that men like him can be loyal, supportive, and good, if they choose.
What about you?
Do you need to look for a new role model to show you a different, better way to live your life?
Or do you have the chance to be that role model for the “Danny” in your life?
The world is a big place, and life can be long.
Don’t get stuck in any one way of thinking.
If something hurts, don’t let it keep hurting. There might be a different way for you to try.
Keep an eye out for people who are living the life you want to live, and learn from them.
And when you are secure in your position, look back now and then, too, to see if you can give another “Danny” a hand.
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